Reverse Falls Oneshots
by MagicMoneyPants
Summary: My take on the popular AU in unrelated, or loosely-related, oneshots. Focusing mainly on Dipper and Mabel.
1. Reverse Falls

**.**

 **Reverse Falls**

 **.**

The crowd cheered as Dipper and Mabel walked onstage. It was a typical Friday night show at the _Mystery Manor,_ the auditorium packed with tourists and townies. Mabel beamed brighter than the stage lights as the performer's high took her. A practiced showman's grin replaced Dipper's typically neutral expression.

The pair began with a musical number, then wowed the audience with illusions and stage magic. Throughout the performance, Mabel's eyes kept darting to the leftmost section of seats. _Oh no_. Dipper recognized that look, his sister had a new crush in her sights.

When the part of the act came for the twins to move amongst the audience and give readings, Mabel made a beeline for the current man of her dreams. Her brother was surprised when it turned out to be a chubby-cheeked boy a few years younger than them (though he had to admit, he did have outstanding hair).

While his twin listed off trivial facts about the boy, Dipper realized he'd zoned out and was ignoring the audience. Looking down, he saw a blonde girl staring at him with wide eyes. She looked familiar. A local, but not someone important enough for him to know. Allowing a small surge of power to flow through his body, the magician thought, _Why not?_ And probed her outermost thoughts.

Leaning towards the blonde's ear, Dipper whispered, "The number you're thinking of... is negative eight."

Eyes growing to the size of dinner plates, the girl's mouth dropped open. Dipper gave her his best rakish grin, and stepped away.

::::::::::::::::

The performance ended as it always did: With the twins coffer full, and the townspeople loving them. Retreating backstage, the pair unwound in their dressing room. Mabel commandeered the vanity, removing her makeup and brushing her hair in front of the mirror. Dipper changed out of his stage clothes, exchanging a simple black suit for the powder blue one he wore for shows.

"So, what's your new paramour's name?" The boy asked.

"I don't know." Mabel said, not looking away from her reflection. "I'll find out later."

"I must admit, I never thought of someone like _that_ as your type."

The girl turned to face her brother. "I'll have you know, I happen to like cute fluffy things."

"I thought you outgrew _fluffy_ when you decapitated all your stuffed animals."

Mabel gave a noncommittal shrug, then asked, "What were you doing with that girl? I thought you said we shouldn't use our powers during shows. ' _Mentalism and slight-of-hand are all we need to impress these rubes.'_ Or something like that."

"I said we shouldn't _rely_ on our powers for these shows." The boy explained, knowing she remembered. "A well placed pinch of real magic is fine. As long as it's not enough to expose ourselves."

"You didn't answer my question."

Dipper rolled his eyes, "I told her what she was thinking. She struck me as someone nobody would listen to, but would tell her story anyway. A way for word to spread. It pays to keep our mythos alive."

:::::::::::::::::::

The next morning, Mabel awoke late and walked downstairs to see that Jesus had already laid out breakfast. Nodding to the portly manservant, the girl sat across from her brother who was reading the paper.

"Are you planning to visit your new target today?" Dipper asked, referring to the towheaded boy from last night.

Mabel was never quite sure when her twin was making fun of her, or when he was just making conversation. In these situations, she found it best to give simple replies until she had an idea of his mood. "Maybe."

"What did you learn about him last night?"

 _Ah. That's what he's playing at._ Dipper was the one who taught his sister how to observe the minutia of a person, then offer seemingly complex descriptions of the mark. Just as she'd taught him how to sing and act. This was a test to see how well she was doing.

"Well," She began. "He's an out-of-towner, obviously, but not a tourist."

"What makes you so sure he's not a local?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Because I've never seen him before, _duh_. Plus, his accent is a dead giveaway."

She took her brother's silence as indication to continue.

"He was rested and bathed, meaning he's already been here at least a few days. He's from somewhere in the south, but didn't have parents with him. That's a long way to travel alone, so he must be here visiting family (probably that girl you were hitting on) so, i.e.: not a tourist. That also means he's probably here for a long time, maybe even the whole summer."

Dipper nodded slowly. "Not bad. But you missed some details."

The girl scowled and crossed her arms. "Like?"

"You're right, he is here visiting family." Her brother said. "He's from just outside of Dallas, he lives there with his mother who is divorced. He's staying with his father for the summer, the girl he was with is his cousin. He's been here for approximately a week-and-a-half. He's nine years old, and his name starts with a 'G'."

Gaping, Mabel asked, "How did you figure all that out? I know you didn't read his mind."

Dipper tossed her the newspaper he'd been browsing. It was actually three back-issues of the _Gravity Falls Gossiper_. The headlines read: _Wax Bud Murdered!, City Kid Wastes Everyone's Time.,_ and _City Kid Finds Wax Bud's Head!_

"He's already made a name for himself." The boy said. "Apparently he accused Shandra Jimenez of _waxicide._ "

"You cheated." Mabel huffed, sticking her tongue out.

"No." Her twin answered. "I did research. I wanted to make sure you wouldn't get into any trouble. Be careful with him. Out-of-towners make things complicated. They're harder to deal with if things… go wrong. We don't want to put our reputations at stake."

The pair sat in silence until Mabel remembered something, causing her to smirk. "You're right _dear_ _brother_. We don't want to lose our reputation." She started examining her nails. "It's just too bad that _any_ publicity isn't actually _good_ publicity."

Knowing he was being baited, Dipper asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, just something I read earlier." The girl shuffled through the papers until she found what she wanted, sliding it forward.

Dipper read:

 ** _Mystery of the Mystery Twins_** _  
Dipper Pines: What does he do all day?_

"It looks like you've been drawing attention to yourself." Mabel said nonchalantly.

Glowering, the boy answered, "What's your point?"

Knowing she'd gotten under his skin, Mabel explained, "The point is that we're celebrities. People expect to see us around town. Socializing. _Dating._ "

Dipper scoffed. "You know I don't have time for that sort of thing."

"Oh, I know. I know." His twin sympathized. "And so does everyone else, apparently. They just don't understand _why_."

 _Should have expected that._ Neither twin let the other poke fun without retaliation. Coming up with a defense, the boy said, "We're twelve. Romance shouldn't be an issue. All we should be interested in is _Toaster Tarts_ and _Monstermon_."

"I agree, I agree!" Mabel smirked. "It's just that, without a social life, people might try to investigate who you really are."

"And what do you suggest?" Dipper growled.

"Well, for starters." The girl's smile grew even wider. "You could ask out that little blonde of yours."

The boy said nothing, while his sister scanned her encyclopedic knowledge of the town's residences.

"Northwest." She said, her grin returning. "That's who she is: Pacifica Northwest, the descendant of the town's first village idiot!" She could hardly contain her laughter. "That's perfect! It'll prove you're not just some stuck-up celebrity, and are willing to date a nobody!"

"I'm not dating anybody!" Dipper snapped, finally losing his cool. "Let the gossip columns say what they want!"

"I'm just trying to help _._ " Mabel gave an exaggerated pout.

"Let's just agree to do our own thing." The boy grumbled. "You help maintain our public image, and I'll help clean up any problems you run into."

Mabel's grin turned genuine for the first time that morning. "Agreed!" She kissed her brother's cheek and ran out the door, intending to formally meet her newest soulmate.

::::::::::::::::  
 **.**


	2. Double Date

**.**

 **Double Date**

 **.**

A knock at the door echoed through the halls of Mystery Manor. Guests were uncommon at the Pines' residence, and since the portly butler Jesus had the day off, it was up to Dipper to greet the unwanted visitor.

With his usual stoic expression, Dipper opened the door. There he found a blonde girl in obnoxiously colorful clothing, flashing him a nervous braces-filled smile. She was vaguely familiar, but the performer wasn't one to learn the names of people who didn't matter.

"Can I help you?" He managed to conceal most of his annoyance.

"Oh-um," The girl was having trouble forming a sentence. "Is- is Mabel here?"

Dipper knew all his sister's friends, and this was definitely _not_ one of them. "She's out at the moment. Can I take a message?"

The blonde played with her ponytail, saying, "Well, it's about my cousin Gideon."

 _Gideon._ That was a name he did recognized.

"Mabel is kinda freaking him out."

 _Well, that's not a surprise._ Out loud, Dipper said, "Why don't you come inside so we can talk."

Still nervous about meeting the local celebrity, Paz entered. For some reason, the sound of the door closing behind her felt ominous. The boy led her to a small parlor, gesturing for her to sit on the couch, and taking an armchair for himself.

Even as a child, Dipper rarely showed emotion. After entering show business, Mabel started chastising him for this habit, saying the audience would be turned off by a kid who didn't look happy. So the boy would stand in front of his mirror, training his muscles to portray things he didn't feel. Now he had a repertoire of at least twelve distinct smiles.

Presenting the girl with Smile #4 _: Charming but Nonthreatening_ , he said, "Tell me about this problem you're having… Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. I don't think we've been formally introduced."

"I'm Pacifica Northwest." The blonde shook his outstretched hand.

"Can I offer you a drink Pacifica?" He switched to Smile #2: _What a Nice Young Man._

"No. Thanks." The tween was becoming more relaxed. "I just wanted to talk to Mabel about my cousin."

"She should be back soon, but why don't you tell me what's going on, maybe I can help?"

"Well…" Paz shifted in her seat. "She took him on a date, and he kinda felt like she pressured him into another one."

Instead of the anger and demands to leave that she'd expected, Dipper just wore a thoughtful expression, saying. "My sister can get a little _intense_ at times. And she doesn't always pick up on social cues if she has a tar- a crush on her mind."

Paz sighed. This might be easier than she thought.

"I'm sorry that happened." The magician leaned forward and placed his hand on hers, looking deep into her eyes. "I'm sure we'll be able to work everything out."

The girls face turned red, and the butterflies in her stomach threatened to burst out.

From out in the hall, the front door could be heard, followed by approaching footsteps. Dipper rose and ushered his newly returned sister into the room, then asked their guest to retell her story. Mabel's calm mask slipped a few times during the explanation, something that didn't go unnoticed by Pacifica.

After thinking for a minute, Mabel got up and sat uncomfortably close to the blonde, saying, "Dipper, why don't you leave for a while so we can have some girl-talk."

Pacifica's eyes widened as she stared at the boy, silently begging him not to go.

He went.

"Now then." Mabel cracked a smile. "I think what we have here is a big misunderstanding."

"It's just th-"

"I hope you don't think my feelings towards your cousin aren't genuine."

"No! But-"

"Or that I wanted to make him uncomfortable on purpose."

"Of course not! Only-"

"So how can we fix this?"

"Well, like Gideon said, he doesn't want-"

"I know!" Mabel shot up with delight. "A double date!"

"Huh?"

"Me and Gideon, you and your boyfriend." She explained. "That way you can chaperone, and make sure I don't cross any lines."

Paz looked at her feet. "I, uh, I don't actually have a boyfriend."

" _Really?"_ Mabel let out an exaggerated gasp. "A _delightful_ girl like you?"

The blonde could usually tell when she was being made fun of, but the performer's tone made it difficult.

"Lucky for you." Mabel continued. "I know a boy who'd just _love_ to go out with you."

"Er, really?" It was strange to express hope and doubt at the same time.

Mabel flashed a coy look. "I noticed you were quite… _entranced_ by my brother."

Pacifica blushed harder than she thought possible.

"It just so happens that he's single." The twin continued. "And you'd make an _adorable_ pair."

"I- um- uh- I…"

"Don't move." Mabel smirked

::::::::::::::

Of course, Dipper heard everything.

Finding her brother outside the room, Mabel met his scowl with a grin. "I have a proposal for you, brother dear."

"No."

Mabel pouted, "Please. It would mean a lot to me."

"No."

"And it's not just for _my_ benefit."

Dipper groaned. She knew exactly how to pique his curiosity.

"If people see you out on a date, they'll stop asking what you do all day." The girl smiled, _try to logic your way out of that!_

Dipper grumbled. "Mabel. You're my sister, and I love you, but I _will_ murder you."

"Is that a yes?"

"… Yes."

Mabel squealed excitedly, pulling her brother into a hug, then dragged him back to the parlor.

::::::::::::::::::

Four preteens walked into the fanciest restaurant in Gravity Falls. Pacifica's eyes were wide, taking in the fancy decor and cloth napkins. Gideon wore a nervous expression, occasionally switching to anger directed at his cousin for getting him into this mess. The party was shown to a booth, the Mystery Twins seated across from their dates.

Paz nearly vibrated with excitement until she picked up the menu, her mood quickly reversed, saying, "Everything here is pretty expensive."

Sensing a possible escape, Gideon said, "Yeah, we can't really afford this."

"Don't worry," Mabel waved a dismissive hand. "Dinner's on us."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course." Dipper answered. "It's like our Great Uncle always says: _What good is money if you're not willing to share it?"_ He flashed Smile #11: _Generous and Humble._

"Well, if you're sure." The blonde girl looked through her menu. "There's so much to choose from."

"The veal is good." Dipper suggested.

"So is the Hasenpfeffer." Mabel added.

Shortly, a waiter came to take their orders.

"I'll have the Cochinillo." Mabel said.

"The lamb." Dipper ordered.

After learning what each of these dishes were made from, the pair of cousins asked for a green salad.

:::::::::::::::::::

"So I said, 'Sign your own headshot lady!'" Mabel laughed at her own joke, which was probably funny to famous people. The date had gone well so far (depending on who you asked).

Gideon sunk deeper into his seat. His cousin blocked any avenue of escape, and Mabel playfully kicked at his feet.

Dipper wasn't faring much better. For a performer, he didn't enjoy being the center of attention, and as if Pacifica's goo-goo eyes weren't enough, the other patrons in the restaurant wouldn't shut up about them.

It was at this point that Dipper realized he'd been outplayed. As though being seen with this brightly-colored toothache wasn't enough, he'd have to _continue_ this charade if he wanted to keep the support of these gaping nitwits. He was sure Mabel knew this would happen (probably paying him back for some previous slight, or maybe just starting the game over again).

 _Well, sister dear, let's just see how well I can play the part you've given me._ Dipper leaned forward and took is dates hand. "Pacifica, I hope you can forgive me."

Mabel smirked while confusion overtook the blonde girl's expression, "For what?"

"For not presenting you with a bouquet of flowers!" Dramatically raising a hand to his brow. "I was so overcome by your presence that the thought left my mind! I hope this will make amends:"

The flame from the table's candle darted to his open palm, then transformed into an exotic blossom, which Dipper offered his date. Pacifica's rapidly beating heart could barely pump enough blood to her red cheeks.

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Now, now. No showing off dear brother." She waved her hand, and the flower dissolved into ash. The candle ignited again, shifting to a new color every second.

 _Hmph! Trying to outdo me, huh? He thinks_ he _can be a better date?_ Mabel thought. _Wait! He's not supposed to want to be here at all. But I said he_ should _be here. Hrm… If he makes a good impression, I lose. But if I have to stop him from making a good impression, I lose too… Darn it, he Paradoxed me!_

::::::::::::::

Finally, the night ended. The Pines chauffeur dropped the cousins off at the Psychic Pshack. The two couples exited to say their goodbyes.

Pacifica stood way too close to Dipper, big blue eyes staring into unnatural teal ones. "I had a really good time tonight."

"Yes… me… too…" The boy forced through gritted teeth.

"Maybe we," The blonde scraped her foot across the ground, "Maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"I'd love to," Dipper carefully measured his tone. "But I have a very busy schedule-"

"Of course he will!" Mabel barged into the conversation, crushing her brother's windpipe in a one-armed hug. "I mean, the only thing that would stop him is if some unforeseen event tore our families apart, _right_?"

The others nodded, one fearfully, one reluctantly.

"Great!" The brunette chirped. "In that case, I'm sure we'll all do this again real soon!"

The twins got into their limo and waved goodbye.

:::::::::::::

Mabel laid back in her seat contentedly. "That went well."

Dipper scowled. "I'm going to do it. I'm going to murder you."

The girl's phone buzzed. Ignoring her brother's empty threat, she checked her messaged. "WHAT!"

"What?" Dipper's anger was replaced by curiosity.

Any remnant of her former mood was replaced by rage. Mabel growled, "He broke up with me! He broke up with me through a _text!_ "

Dipper couldn't enjoy the relief he felt, not when his sister was in so much pain. Putting his hand on her shoulder, he said, "Maybe it's a mistake."

"The only mistake was trusting that little brat to make him see reason!" She shrugged him off.

The boy sighed, "Look, it just wasn't meant to be."

"No! He's my soulmate!"

"You said that about an Iron Maiden once!"

"Hrmph!"

"C'mon Mabel."

The girl turned away.

Her brother poked her, "Mabel, I know you, you'll be over this in a day."

She just grunted.

"Fine! I don't care. It's not my problem."

Mabel still didn't speak, she only struggled with the tears brimming in her eyes.

"You can figure this out for yourself. I'm not gonna do anything!"

::::::::::::::::::

He had to do something.

:::::::::::::::

 **.**


End file.
